“We are all either bullies, bullied, or bystanders.” Richard L. Gross, MD, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology
Have you ever been bullied? Bullying can happen in all stages in life, but for this blog I will be focusing on child and adolescent bullying.
Bullying is a behavior that has been going on for many years but has finally caught the attention of school departments, media, government, and every home. Sadly, bullying has caught everyone’s attention because it was ignored for too long, with harmful , or fatal consequences. Bullying is not just the direct teasing, threatening, or physical contact. It many times comes in the non-verbal, non-physical form of spreading rumors, excluding others from a group, manipulation of friendships, threatening email, or in today’s world of social media (e.g. facebook, twitter), comes in the form of teasing and tarnishing one’s name online.
The effects of bullying take a toll on the person psychologically, academically, and physically. Children bullied have feelings of isolation, depression, report more headaches, anxiety, some reported suicidal thoughts, and higher absenteeism from school, which can affect academic performance.
Possible warning signs of bullying victims:
· Returns from school with torn, damaged, or missing articles of clothing, books, or belonging
· Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and/or scratches
· Has few, if any, friends
· Appears afraid of going to school
· Has lost interest in school work
· Complains of headaches, stomach aches
· Has trouble sleeping and/or has frequent nightmares
· Appears sad, depressed, or moody
· Appears anxious and/or has poor self esteem
· Is quiet, sensitive, and passive
Studies have found that despite the high prevalence of bullying, many children and adolescents will not report bullying to a parent, teacher, school staff, or adult. Boys and older children were reported to be less likely to report bullying.
Talk openly with your children about bullying. Report any form of bullying immediately to your child’s teachers and school system, including cyberbullying. Many teachers report they are not aware of the bullying taking place, so make them aware, even if you suspect it, so teacher’s can have their radar on. Many schools have ‘zero-tolerance’ to bullying, so work closely with your child’s school. Although bullying many times develops and occurs in the school setting, the responsibility cannot be placed entirely upon the school system. As parents, we need to monitor our children very closely outside of school. With social media websites such as facebook and twitter, this is where a lot of the bullying is occurring today. Monitor your child’s internet activity. If you allow your child to have a facebook account, insist upon monitoring. Get to know the technology your child is using. If a child feels as if you’re violating their privacy to be a part of their internet activity, remind them we as parents, are here to protect our children, and that the internet and social media is not a right, it’s a priviledge. This will allow us as parents to not only detect who’s being bullied, but also who is bullying. Remember many of your children have social media available to them on their cell phones, so be mindful of their phone activity, as well as texting activity. I realize this is a fine line with children and parents, and the topic of trust will come up, but it is our job to protect children.
Do not be a bystander to bullying. For more information on bullying, you can go to www.stopbullying.gov
References:
American Medical Association (2002), Educational Forum on Adolescent Health: Youth Bullying. Retreived on August 4, 2011 on http://www.ama-assn.org/resources/doc/ad-hlth/youthbullying.pdf
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